The Element(s) of Freedom

Wowza, it's been a loonngg time since I've updated this blog. I feel like such a neglector! Ha :). But the good news is that I finally have something creatively relevant to say so it's time to post.

I entered the NYC Midnight Madness Short Story Contest again this year. The heat I was placed in had to write a story in the genre: drama and the subject I had to write about was a Photographer. Only having eight days to write a 2,500 word short story I struggled with both the genre and topic for the first two to three days. In frustration I finally just went back to the old rule of thumb to write what I knew. I had a terrible head cold the day I started writing the story and was frustrated with more than just my story. From that less than ideal circumstance I came up with a story entitled, 'The Element(s) of Freedom'. By the end of it I had worked through self discovery as much as my character and ended up creating a story within a story.

If you want to read the whole thing, click here: The Element(s) of Freedom

If you just want to read the summation of the self discovery read on.

There is an aching potential in all of us, this desire to be utilized and to be seen, to be beautiful and contribute something of beauty to society and life. So often the human struggle begins and ends with the means of discovery and unlocking that potential. And sometimes the risk it takes to expose that raw element of our core being seems more painful than missing out on meeting the fullness of the life we could attain. The unknown is just that. Who knows what obstacles, barriers, rejections and hardships we may or may not face on the road to blooming?

In my research I found that a flower simply requires warmth, light and just the right amount of water to bloom. Our souls require the warmth of relationship, the light that exposes, teaches and leads us and just the right amount of tears in order to reach our potential. And when you find that staying tightly closed in a bud of mediocrity is more painful than the risk that’s required to bloom, then and truly then, you will know the element of freedom.

My Two Cents

I read something today that confused me. It was written by an acquaintance of mine who was talking about a social issue and what they believed in regards to it. They took a stand on one side of the issue and it was a noble stand that I think many of us would mentally ascend to taking. But in my initial admiration I started looking at this specific person's conduct relative to the issue they were speaking of and the experiences I've personally had with this individual. It made me wonder what side they really were on. Their actions and words did not match.

It's easy to put in words what we think we believe. And in some ways just expressing our values can blind friends and loved ones who want to believe what we're saying. Identifying our principles also make us feel better about ourselves and where we stand...But when these things are tested, tempted and teased our actions, not our words, end up defining what we believe.

And honestly I am not writing this as one who stands at a vantage point of judgment but instead I speak of personal experience. There is a lot of things I said I stood for, believed in and valued. I've been through a lot of testing in the last year or so and learned about myself that my actions and my spoken values are truly something I need to work on matching up with the other. It's tougher than it seems when you are walking through the fire!

SOME of My Favorite Combinations of Words

Still lacking significant inspiration to form my own stream of thoughts. So instead I wanted to share with you some of the words that inspire me.

"I see before me a man, with all his good and all his bad. I simply see a man."

Those are the goggles I see people through. We're all human, we all have our fair share of good and bad and we all need love!

"There's always some madness in love but there is always some reason in madness!"


While you may not have to search at all for the madness, you most likely will have to search for the "reason". It's worth the hunt.

"Lost are the days of innocent guiltlessness. Lost are our heroic dreams and everlasting intrigue. Never to be lost are our tempted hopes."

Never lose hope. If you lose that, you truly lose everything!

"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." Rumi

When you find love it is often like finding a long lost, missing piece of yourself. It's when your heart finds commonality, extension, rest and passion in anothers. And then you realize it was there all along, you just needed the right person to awaken it.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." SYDNEY J. HARRIS

I've certainly found this to be true in my life. The saying, "Live with no regrets" has some truth. If you regret the things you have done, change. Move on. If you find regret for the things you haven't done, didn't say, etc. And the opportunity has now passed you by, that you can never change.

I Tweeted a Story or Two

It has been way too long since I've updated here. I miss my personal blogging but have been lacking both the time and inspiration of late. I'm not the type of blogger that likes to write and update everyone on my life happenings. I try to approach my blogging like a public journal of my random thoughts and opinions, giving me a forum to express myself. But I did decide to update today with a few personal life items for the entertainment and lucrative value.

Recently entered another writing contest. It is called Tweet Me A Story and is hosted by New York City Midnight Madness. I had to write a story using a word that was randomly assigned to me. The story could only be 140 characters in length including spaces. Thus the title "Tweet" as the contest was inspired by the length limitation of Twitter (you can now follow me on Twitter if you are so inclined to recieve my oober exciting updates at Marian116). The word assigned to me was Sharp. These are the top 3 stories I submitted:

1. The knife so sharp, the flesh on her finger a delicacy. A pineapple its one obstacle to penetration. Salivating, sliding, slipping…success!

2. My will to survive fortified. It came down to my life or my arm. The sharp agony of pain intensified as I began to saw through flesh & bone.

3. A nurse approached my bed, needle in hand. Panting, sweating I turned my head. The prick was sharp and precise. My world is fading to black.

I found the contest extremely entertaining and somewhat challenging. Most who have read and critiqued the first story have requested clarification. It is basically a concise version of a time I cut my finger with a very sharp knife while slicing a pineapple. It is written from the knife's p.o.v. :)

You can always catch my writing on examiner.com. I have a link to it to your right on this page. I think some of my followers and friends have misinterpreted that site as another blogging spot for me. It's not. I am employed by Examiner to be a reporter on National Pop Music. And while they give me liberty to write about whatever I went within that sphere I don't make money unless I pick popular topics that people are searching for online. It's not that I'm crazy about all the artists or bands I am writing about but I report what I find to be hot and popular. Simply stated that is how I earn the cash. If you wanna help me out, just hit my site once a day. Even if you don't read what I post, your mouse click nets me some money.

Since this blog entry is getting way too long for my liking, I'm gonna sign off for now. Keep checking in. I will try to get back on the bandwagon here!

Hugs and Love to you!

Appearances

Is it better to maintain the "appearance" of innocence or to be innocent of maintaining "appearances"?*

Would you rather have people thinking the best of you while you constantly maintain the appearance of having your world all put together. Or do you prefer to live openly and shield the shots in judgment and criticism as they fly by? It's just human nature - we all do it - we judge things and make assumptions based on what we see right?

Many people from my past and present are rising up and asking me about what they see or what "appears" to be a reality in my life recently. Most of the concerned critics wouldn't have a window into my world if it weren't for cyberspace and social networking. With that in mind I accept responsibility for what I share. And often what is posted on those sites is a reflection of the truth but is often only one small aspect and fragment of my reality.

Regardless of people's perception of me and who they thought I was and am, etc. I have been authentic in my posting both here and on my social networks. It's only a small percentage of what I do and how I spend some of my time but this small percentage is just as real as what you don't see me doing.

I can't fairly be upset for long at those who form their opinions of me based exclusively on what they see online. After all I'm the one willingly sharing and posting both online and off. I guess that is the price I pay to be innocent of maintaining the "appearance" that makes perception comfortable. I'm secure enough in my world to face the scrutiny and controversy that authenticity brings.


*copyright - Marian Tuin, 2009 - All Rights Reserved

A Little Yin in Your Yang

Why is it that our human nature often wants what we can't have? What is it about the "can't" or "no" that makes whatever that thing is more attractive? And you know what I've found? Just the knowledge that I can't have what I want doesn't always save me from going after what I can't have.

In some regards I guess that's a good thing. Like when someone tells you you can't reach your goal or accomplish your dreams and then you do it any way. And maybe that's why we have the constant struggle with the things we can't have. Maybe it's because a percentage of the time we actually need to push through and grab the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Can I just say, the struggle over all the rest really sucks. Especially if you are a stubborn red-headed girl!:)

Control

"I can change almost anything. I can't change human nature."

Funny how quotes are interrupting my thoughts and influencing my writing of late. I heard the one above on a new sci-fi-ish movie preview last night. It was a most unlikely place for inspiration and I have no idea what context the quote is taken from but how true it rings.

There's a lot of things in our lives we can change from our hair and eye color to the size of our lips, chests, stomachs... We can change our look, we can change where we live, who we associate with. We can change our names, our jobs, the stations we watch and/or listen to. We can change how and what we eat, drink, wear. We have been given the power by technology and our creator to change almost anything save one integral part of life, human nature.

In general I know what human nature is defined by. Our thoughts, emotions, our heart. But I wanted to find a technical definition as reference to my own interpretation. Wikipedia defined it as: The set of logical characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting that all normal human beings have in common. However, it is possible to change thoughts, feelings and even actions; they are temporal and fleeting. So what is it about human nature that we can't change?

We can't change how others will turn and direct their thoughts, feelings and actions towards us. And as much as I've wanted to do that at times, it's never worked out for me. So I guess I took the long way around to simply say, the only real control I have in this universe is over myself. And truly accepting that is profound.