Burnt or Burning...A Follow Up

Begin cheesey theme song! Oh yesssss!

So I left you on a sour running note...And after Eric, who doubles as my coach,:) read my blog he pointed to his head and smiled that charming smile. I have to admit I was a little Grrrr at that at first because that code means: "It's all in your head.".

Fast forward. I woke up Wednesday and couldn't drag myself out of bed in time to take an early a.m. run by myself and since I need the training that left me with the option of running later in the morning with my 60 lb. love trophy in tow. Still feeling a little bitter about Monday's run I chose that option knowing full well that this run would either make me mad or I would fight through it!

I decided to fight and it turned out to be one of my best runs of the season! When I finished I felt strong - not hot, sweaty and pissy:)! And then I connected the dots. It was all in my head - it is all in my head. So, to be a strong runner - maybe even person; I have to not only show up physically but I have to get my head and my attitude in the game.

I ran again today with that stroller full of love and I'm thinking these runs are the best thing I did for myself this week. If asked that on Monday - not so much.

Lesson of the week: Running is as much a mental sport as it is a physical one. Perhaps the sport of life is comparatively the same. Show up physically and mentally and fight!

How to Know When You are Burnt

Someone asked me not too far back if I enjoyed the sport of running. Honestly my answer is no, but do I run? Yes. Why? Because I enjoy the challenge. I'm not usually one to shrink from a challenge - one that is "Marion-sized" that is... And so every time I run it presents a challenge and I enjoy that. I enjoy finishing a run and knowing I did it.

Well recently running has become even more "challenging":). I don't want to conquer the challenge of it any more so I've lost my motivation:). Not even my cute little running skirt (sooo CUTE btw) can inspire me. The problem is that I signed myself up for this relay again. The one that I have to run almost 16 miles in three different legs over the course of 24 hours. Yeah, that one. I was so ready to do it again a year ago just after tackling and completing it successfully... A year ago.

So going for a run usually starts this way for me. I get up (try to go early to beat the heat). I lay back down. I get up cause I gave my word to this team and I am not going to let them down by half a**ing it... I manage to get the appropriate running attire on. Now I'm committed. I make a couple potty stops cause lord knows a tortuous run can only be made worse by the immediacy of needing to relieve yourself in the middle of one's run. I stretch and I'm out the door. UGH. Walking now, trying to inhale and exhale - you know the basics. Trying to psyche myself up for the run. O.k. at the corner now I'm jogging. Oh man, who thought this was a good idea. It doesn't feel like a good idea!

Yep, so that is how it goes usually. Except today I thought it would be a good idea to push a stroller full of 2 kids (about 60 extra lbs.) for conditioning sake in about 80 degree heat. YES that was smart. And so while I was running and thinking of this relay that I committed to, and all the while listening to the incessant firing of questions from my four year old, like "where does the sky end mommy?"... Try answering that while you are baking in the sun, in cardio overload.... It hits me, I need a break - from running. I think I will try something more tranquil - like ballet. In three weeks that is. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it (the relay and training for it) goes.

XO

I'm Not Who I Was... Are You?

I have a song posted right now on my myspace profile entitled, I'm not who I was. Someone asked me the other day, who I am now and who I am not anymore... I wanted to answer that question right away, but I thought better of it and allowed myself time to ponder it. The conclusion I've come to is that life is constantly changing me. I'm growing, learning, maturing, experiencing, etc. Life is a never ending process. My understanding of life has changed by my experiences.

The constants I have found are my moral values or code. This is the line I go back to - its my compass and stabilizer as I walk through life. The only other constant for me is God. And He alone is responsible for guiding my moral values and codes. Everything else that I can think of changes... Relationships grow and change, bloom and die. People come and go, are young and grow old and pass on. My environment and surroundings can change almost daily due to weather, seasons, choices people. I could go on but I think you get the overall point.

I'm not who I was because I can't be. The process of life is changing me consistently. I hope that the changes that occur are mostly for the better...