Having Myself

"I feel like I got myself back. I may never have even had myself - but I do now."

I stole this quote from an article I read last month in a magazine. It perfectly articulates a lot of things I have wrestled with. About a year ago I looked at my life in a surreal way and as blessed as I was and am I knew there was more to me than what I had achieved. I felt I had cheated myself out of some of the dreams I had. And I started to look for reasons why and who was standing in my way. I found out the hard way that the only person standing in my way was me!

I feel like we're raised to look for the "happily ever after". It's in every book you read as you grow up, in all the romantic comedies we watch, it's a subliminal message that permeates our culture. And in pursuit of that "happily ever after" I think we sometimes forget what makes us truly happy. It's the journey that brings us to the ending, the "happy place" we are all seeking. As a writer my story endings are short and sweet. They wrap things up and that's it. The meat of the story is the important part, the details, the conflict, the struggle, the characterization, the pursuit that brings you to the sweet conclusion...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a year later I've learned a lot of tough things about how we get to "happily ever after", or just to be happy. If you get there at all it has a lot to do with you, with me. Your own happiness starts in your heart. It's not a set of circumstances or the right Mr. or Ms. It's not something out there waiting to be found. I'm still working on that and think I will be for awhile but at least I've unlocked a piece of the mystery.

Happy Holiday Season to you! MUCH love!! XO